The Silver Lining

 I'm at the end of my 2nd year of teaching and I think the one thing I've learned is I'm never done learning and growing.  I have discovered that I can accomplish more than I ever thought and I am starting to get better at asking for help.......something that this A type personality is not very good at :)  There have been moments where I thought I was going to be stretched beyond my capacity, moments where I thought the stress and anxiety were going to overwhelm me, and there have been one or two moments where life really did seem just too much to handle.  It was in those moments that the Lord showed me how loved I truly was by Him and the people He's placed in my life.  I have an amazing family and group of friends who really put feet and hands to their support and I can never thank them enough.

I have been privileged to watch an incredible group of students grow and mature and watch as they impress themselves.  That light in their eyes when they surprise themselves and really accomplish something they never thought possible, that's when I fall in love with my job all over again.

Then and Now

I love going back and rereading posts every now and then.  It's so cool to see how God has been faithful and generous when I didn't deserve it and how much he is growing me over time.  4 months ago I was desperately looking for a job and about to start applying to the one place I swore I never would work: a coffee shop. Gasp! (Don't get me wrong, I LOVE coffee, but I do NOT want to make it for a living......didn't I just post something about too much "I want/don't want...."?)

Honestly, I hadn't scratched the surface when it came to "pounding the pavement" but I was totally out of my element and had no idea what I was doing. ("What?!" You say. "That's not the FIRST thing they teach you in the music department??")

 I had interviewed and been graciously told no by one of my last picks.  My mom told me this during a phone conversation as she was sitting at home and I was on a train from NYC to Connecticut after one of the longest (though amazing) 48 hours of my life........I was ready to throw a 3 year old size temper tantrum in the middle of that train's floor (and those things are filthy if that tells you anything).  I was physically and emotionally exhausted and was beginning to worry if I was ever going to find employment.

Let's be honest, who wants to hire a Singer with a BA in Music Ministries?

Dramatic? Yes. Valid as I'm looking down the barrel of a VERY expensive car repair and student loans? VERY.

I think this is one of those moments where God is looking at me with a smile on his face but shaking his head a the same time thinking "Would you just get a grip and trust me." Little did I know what He had planned for me 3 days later.

I got back from Connecticut exhausted in every possible way.  We had gone non-stop the entire time and one of my best friends got married and I wasn't going to be able to see her everyday like I was used to.  I missed her already.  Basically, I probably wasn't the most pleasant person to be around.  That night, I was checking email, Facebook, etc. and got this undeniable feeling that I should check my Belhaven email.  I hadn't been a student there for 2 months so I knew there wasn't going to be anything, but I couldn't shake this feeling like I needed to check it for some reason.  That's when what I call my "Mary Poppins Moment" happened.

There was an email through the chair of the music department from a  local school that was looking for a music teacher.  I knew the school, it was a lot like the one I grew up at.  Now, something you have to know is that about a year before this my dad and I were talking in the car....just the two of us.  He was the only one I had this conversation with and it went something like this:

"Blakeney, if you did teach, what would be your ideal situation"

"Probably like something I grew up in: Small, Christian school that really wanted a music program but one that wasn't so established that I couldn't tweak it.  Really, I'd love to be able to set up/ make my own curriculum."

And that was it.  We didn't talk about it again and I had forgotten about it until I was sitting in an interview with the headmaster that sent the email the day before.

Remember that moment in Mary Poppins were the kids have made the list of what they want in a nanny but it's torn up and thrown in the fireplace then Poppins shows up and reads it word for word to them? Yeah, this moment was like that.  As I sat in that interview, Everything I had asked for was being listed to me.  I couldn't believe it! Within a week I had a job as a Music teacher in a small christian school where I was writing my own curriculum.

This job has been a daily reminder that not only does my Heavenly Father love me, He takes delight in showering me with the desires of my heart....even the ones I didn't realize were there.

"The Christian never receives anything for his/her own. It is always for the glory of God and the growth of the Kingdom"

Matthew 25

    ¹⁴ “Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to them. ¹⁵ To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag,^[a]each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. ¹⁶ The man who had received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work and gained five bags more. ¹⁷ So also, the one with two bags of gold gained two more. ¹⁸ But the man who had received one bag went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.

   ¹⁹ “After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. ²⁰ The man who had received five bags of gold brought the other five. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five bags of gold. See, I have gained five more.’

   ²¹ “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

   ²² “The man with two bags of gold also came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two bags of gold; see, I have gained two more.’

   ²³ “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

   ²⁴ “Then the man who had received one bag of gold came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. ²⁵ So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’

   ²⁶ “His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? ²⁷ Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.

   ²⁸ “‘So take the bag of gold from him and give it to the one who has ten bags. ²⁹ For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. ³⁰ And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

The Sermon this morning was on this parable and it kind of rocked my world a little. Our Pastor pointed out 3 points from this passage:

1. Each and every believer is given talents 
2. One day we will be called to account for each of these talents
3. Every believer will be given a reward beyond our wildest imagination.

I think the biggest thing that hit me was how wasteful we are with the gifts and talents we've been given.  The pastor talked about the lazy servant.  It was not that he did something wrong, he was punished because he did NOTHING AT ALL.  Woah.  He used a quote by someone I can't remember but it definitely hit home: 

"To have done no harm is enough for a stone, but not for those made in the image of God"

I also realized how often in my life I've used the phrase "I do/don't want....."  

I don't want to perform because it would take me away from my family 

I don't want to lose my privacy 

I want to be able to get married and have kids and I can't do that when performing 

I don't want to live in a big city like New York

I'm in the time of life where you are constantly looking forward to what the future holds and how I get there, but not once did I stop and REALLY ask what God wanted for me.  I mean, I am constantly asking, but many times I'm not fully listening or I'm only hearing what I want to hear.  For a long time I didn't want to become a performer, I had a plan that didn't include travel and publicity and it made a friend of mine very frustrated with me.  He didn't understand why I would waste the talent he saw in my voice. He thought I should be working towards a performance degree and a career in performance. I was flattered but I didn't really think that much of it......until today.  

After the sermon this morning, I started thinking.  When making my plans I didn't once stop to consider what God did or did not want for my life.  I knew exactly what I wanted and that was all that mattered.  It didn't cross my mind that if He wanted ALL of those things for me, there was nothing to stop that from happening.  If He wanted me to, I could have it all....no big deal. Why do I have such a finite view of my Savior?  

I still don't really know what I will be doing for the rest of my life.  I could be a big time opera singer or may called to stay in the opera world closer to home or maybe I am meant to be a mom or a teacher.  I haven't been given that answer yet, but I do have a renewed energy to hone the talents I've been given and to do it for the glory of the Father and the Kingdom no matter what I end up doing.  That in and of itself is a blessing.  

If you would like to listen to the actual sermon you can go here

Just a Few Thoughts....

Caramel Apple Spice makes any day better

I wish we were all as honest as 4 year olds.  They say and ask the questions the rest of us keep to ourselves, but without the awkwardness and the hurt feelings. They just say it and move on.

Being a teacher and a student at the same time is an interesting perspective......definitely keeps me positive on both sides

The sky looks like its about it's about to open up......and I wish it would, though it would mean me getting soaked....should have thought of the the umbrella this morning...at 6am

There's something comforting about Barnes & Noble

Fall may be turning into my favorite time of year.

Signs of Fall

The weather is FINALLY starting to cool off!......at least enough that I can roll my car windows down :)
I thought is was probably about time that I shared some of my favorite fall things:

1. I love love love LOVE when the leaves change color!! The oranges, reds, yellows and purples always seem to warm my heart and somehow make me feel more creative!

2. One of my favorite articles of clothing is boots! I can't wait until I get to pull those babies out! Needless to say, I've been wearing them almost everyday :) Leather, Cowboy or what ever, they can be dressed up or dressed down

3. Fall is not officially here until I've had one of these:

Starbuck's Carmel Apple Spice has become an essential part of fall for me.  Heaven only knows, how much I spend on this delightful drink from september to november.......or if I'm honest until spring comes ;) 

4. JEANS!!! If you know me at all you know I live in these things (even in the summer) but they are most comfortable and stylish in the fall.  In this season they are at their full glory.  And they go great with boots ;) 

What are some of your favorite fall things? 

A small side note: I realize my life isn't exactly the most exciting so I want YOU to tell me what kind of things you'd like to hear from me about! Come on! Give me SOMETHING....or else it might just be more boring favorites posts :) 

I promise, I haven't dropped off the face of the Earth!

Yes, I'm still alive! I know it's been several months but, I promise, there is a very good reason! About 4 months ago my computer decided it had had enough and finally gave up on me and bit the dust.  They told me the motherboard was fried and it was a better idea to just get a new computer.  I haven't done that yet, but hopefully soon! Until then, posts are going to be a little spotty.  Though, i'm not even sure anyone is still reading this so I guess it doesn't matter haha

Quick life update! I found a full time job teaching music to elementary students and I'm loving it!! Other than that, there's not much going on.  It's been so nice to only focus on music and I feel like I'm learning even more teaching than I did while I was actually in school.  I want to celebrate being back with a post I've wanted to do for awhile:

SCHOOL SUPPLIES!!! So I have this weird love for buying school supplies.....whether I need them or not. There's just something about getting cute new notebooks, fun pens and LOADS of sticky notes that make me smile so I thought I'd share a few of my favorites:

1. Sticky Notes....I'm not sure what I would do with out these convenient little things.  If you would look on my desk they are EVERYWHERE! I would like to thank who ever it is that created them, you are a genius friend! They come in all sorts of crazy colors and sizes and there's always a new kind to find:

2. Sharpie Pens! I have a friend who collects sharpies....and I'm talking she knows how many she has, what colors they come in and when there is a new color collection out.....I used to make fun of her....not since I found the pen version! I rarely use anything else to write with now! Now, I'm starting to collect them haha 

 

3. Hand Sanitizer....this stuff is invaluable and I didn't realize it until I started teaching.  You can never use it too much or too often! My favorite is from Bath and Body Works because it sanitizes, moisturizes AND smells so so good!  

   

4. Journals!! I love buying a cute new journal! The blank pages just seem to call to me I guess :) Target is one of my favorite places to find one:

5. I couldn't survive without my planner! It keeps me organized when I want to do way more than I could ever remember on my own! Target is also a favorite spot for these :) 

So what are your favorites? Do you get as giddy about school shopping as I do?
 

And Many More!!

Ok, so it's late but HAPPY BIRTHDAY to us!! It's been a year since I started this little thing.  I NEVER thought it would last this long but it has and I'm so excited! I don't know how may people actually read this or how productive this actually is, but it's been cool for me and has let me continue my writing hobby in a casual, not-due-in-12-hours kinda way :)

Thanks to those few of you who do read this and hope your past year has been as fun and enlighting as mine has been! Here's to another year!!