I can't believe it, 2010 is almost over! It feels like it just begun! But much of life feels like it is speeding by too quickly, so I want to take a moment and reflect on the passing year.
January and February brought one of the fastest and best decisions I've made: I decided to run for Student Activities Coordinator. I was interviewed and put on the ballot and though I wouldn't be elected until April, it was a moment in my life where I new without a doubt, I had taken a leap of faith. I no idea what I was really doing and I it scared me to death, but it has turned out to be one of the most growing times in my life. February was also the month of my Junior Recital!! It is an understatement to say that I am blessed, but I found out just how blessed I really am. I never expected the support I received and the encouragement that helped push me and reaffirm what I've been working toward!
In March, I got to take a Spring Break trip that opened my eyes to my own heart and stretched me in numerous ways. The Rising was one of my favorite memories with RUF and taught me a lot about myself and the World around me by forcing me outside my comfort zone and forcing me into not so comfortable situations. It also opened my eyes to 116 Clique and Christian Rap :)
April was a month filled with NATS. It was hard hearing I hadn't made it through, but was another needed push to work harder and come back swinging next time. I was also blessed with friendships beyond my imagination and I was beginning to realize it about this time.
May gave me the moral boast I needed. I made it into Best of Belhaven and was awarded The Most Improved in the Music Department. Suddenly NATS wasn't such a big deal. :) My professors believed in me and that's all I needed at the moment. May also meant saying goodbye or at least "see ya later" to some close friends as I watched them graduate and leave me behind, BUT not before Summer Conference which is always one of my favorites :)
June through August was HUGE growing period for me. I was offered an internship with The Office of Student Leadership and was, again, scared of not being able to handle it, but it was one of the most fun experiences I've been a part of and I'm so thankful to JoBeth for that opportunity. Another part of this summer was the death of my paternal grandparents. Though I wasn't super close to my grandmother and I hardly new my grandfather, it was a rough time in the family's life. It did allow us to see each other which doesn't happen often and has spurred us all to keep in touch and make an extra effort to see each other more. I also learned during these three months that I could exercise self control and accomplish things I had doubted before, namely, weight loss. This is hard subject for me to talk about sometimes, and though I've slipped and need to get back on the wagon, it showed me that it IS possible and gave me a renewed hope in myself and my goals. With the beginning of August came the beginning of my senior year and more lessons. I started my activity job and quickly learned how much I needed others. This was also the time of my last Welcome Week which was a blast, but hard to say goodbye to. So much of my leadership potential and growth as a person came from those weeks and I wasn't ready for that to end.
September meant new friends and along with it, new challenges. I think I prayed and was in the scriptures more that month and the one to follow than I had been in a long time. And I needed it! I realized I had been too long relying on my own strength and wisdom and it wasn't doing me any good. This was the month of hard questions and even harder, unpleasant answers and I had to learn the lesson of obedience no matter what. I dwelt a lot on my selfishness and cravings for unneeded things the world had to offer. But I also learned the beauty of honest, open and vulnerable relationships.
October and November were filled with shows and NATS and more juggling than I had ever attempted, but the Lord was good. The show went great and I got to relive what I love about the business side of music. NATS was also a reaffirmation as I made it to semi-finals when I thought it was impossible to do so. BAT came together and I was able to watch selflessness at its best. I also learned a lesson about responsibility and learning to grow up. It wasn't fun then and even now, as I still deal with the consequences, but from this, I too shall learn. (P.S. Always, always, ALWAYS call the cops when you are in an accident!! I don't care how bad it doesn't seem. Just do it!!!)
December has been a whirl wind of a month. There have been Singing Christmas Trees, BAT Christmas Parties, engagements, weddings and graduations of people I love and am going to miss severely, but it's such a blessing to be a part of such a special part in person's life. It's also bringing to light more of my sin as family and life in general tends to do, but I know its all part of being on the Potter's wheel.
I look forward to this next year and what the Lord has in store for me! I already know it's going to be a mile stone year with graduation, going out into the real world and deciding what path I should take for the rest of my life but I'm learning more and more everyday how able my Savior is, how much He loves me and how much He wants to bless me with each lesson learned, tear cried or rejoicing. Here's to 2011!!!
