Breath...Breath!...BREATH!!!

I'm kind of impressed with myself and how long I've kept this up. Normally it will last for a month or so and then slowly be forgotten or discarded in an attempt to find something to waste my time (something I don't have much of these days :) I have found I enjoy more than I thought I would though and hope to keep it up. I don't really know if anyone reads this or if I really want them to (haha). What I do know is that it allows me to empty my head a bit everynow and then to make room for all the other stuff I have to remember and helps me relax a little.

I don't really even know what I'm rambling on about at this point, nor do I know why I had this urge to get on here and type. BUT I did and so here I am, going on and on aimlessly and here you are reading, probably wondering why you made it this far. :)

ANYWAY, School is back in session after Christmas break and I'm suddenly very thnakful that I did nothing for a month but lay around and do house work. If I sit down for more than 30 minutes, it's probably because it's almost midnight and I need to be getting to sleep.

Despite my busy schedule, there isn't much that'd I'd be willing to give up...even my classes. This is one of the reasons I've loved College: you get to study what you love and you love what you get to study. Most of my music classes are done so this year I got to pick a couple extras to fill in space. My Introduction to Marketing class is actually pretty interesting and I'm sure will be useful if i ever decide to market myself to an audiance through music. My Christian Doctrine class is also pretty entertaining, especially when we start getting into different theological ideas, something I haven't been able to really discuss in awhile. All my other classes, Bio and Bio lab, choir and voice lessons are pretty normal but I'm still finding that I enjoy them, just as long as I have time to prepare....something I'm suprised I've actually been able to do. When you start adding up the hours each one of my activities takes (14 hours of class + 20 hours of BLC and Worksstudy + 18 hours of practice = 52 hours....and I haven't even counted time for homework and friends....and there's only 144 hours in a week...plus sleep...oh gosh I better stop now or I'll start stressing!....."Where is my calander...and my books...and AHHHH!" .....Ok I'm fine...I think) I thought I'd have less time than ever. But the Lord has been good and it seems like I have time to spare at the end of the day.....I just have to somehow get up the next day :)

Despite the fact that most days I go from 8-10 without stopping, I'm really begnning to enjoy this last semester.

I think it's what comes after the next 3 months that I'm worried about...!!!!

Kissing the Old Year Out...Kissing the New Year In

I can't believe it, 2010 is almost over! It feels like it just begun! But much of life feels like it is speeding by too quickly, so I want to take a moment and reflect on the passing year.

January and February brought one of the fastest and best decisions I've made: I decided to run for Student Activities Coordinator. I was interviewed and put on the ballot and though I wouldn't be elected until April, it was a moment in my life where I new without a doubt, I had taken a leap of faith. I no idea what I was really doing and I it scared me to death, but it has turned out to be one of the most growing times in my life. February was also the month of my Junior Recital!! It is an understatement to say that I am blessed, but I found out just how blessed I really am. I never expected the support I received and the encouragement that helped push me and reaffirm what I've been working toward!

In March, I got to take a Spring Break trip that opened my eyes to my own heart and stretched me in numerous ways. The Rising was one of my favorite memories with RUF and taught me a lot about myself and the World around me by forcing me outside my comfort zone and forcing me into not so comfortable situations. It also opened my eyes to 116 Clique and Christian Rap :)

April was a month filled with NATS. It was hard hearing I hadn't made it through, but was another needed push to work harder and come back swinging next time. I was also blessed with friendships beyond my imagination and I was beginning to realize it about this time.

May gave me the moral boast I needed. I made it into Best of Belhaven and was awarded The Most Improved in the Music Department. Suddenly NATS wasn't such a big deal. :) My professors believed in me and that's all I needed at the moment. May also meant saying goodbye or at least "see ya later" to some close friends as I watched them graduate and leave me behind, BUT not before Summer Conference which is always one of my favorites :)

June through August was HUGE growing period for me. I was offered an internship with The Office of Student Leadership and was, again, scared of not being able to handle it, but it was one of the most fun experiences I've been a part of and I'm so thankful to JoBeth for that opportunity. Another part of this summer was the death of my paternal grandparents. Though I wasn't super close to my grandmother and I hardly new my grandfather, it was a rough time in the family's life. It did allow us to see each other which doesn't happen often and has spurred us all to keep in touch and make an extra effort to see each other more. I also learned during these three months that I could exercise self control and accomplish things I had doubted before, namely, weight loss. This is hard subject for me to talk about sometimes, and though I've slipped and need to get back on the wagon, it showed me that it IS possible and gave me a renewed hope in myself and my goals. With the beginning of August came the beginning of my senior year and more lessons. I started my activity job and quickly learned how much I needed others. This was also the time of my last Welcome Week which was a blast, but hard to say goodbye to. So much of my leadership potential and growth as a person came from those weeks and I wasn't ready for that to end.

September meant new friends and along with it, new challenges. I think I prayed and was in the scriptures more that month and the one to follow than I had been in a long time. And I needed it! I realized I had been too long relying on my own strength and wisdom and it wasn't doing me any good. This was the month of hard questions and even harder, unpleasant answers and I had to learn the lesson of obedience no matter what. I dwelt a lot on my selfishness and cravings for unneeded things the world had to offer. But I also learned the beauty of honest, open and vulnerable relationships.

October and November were filled with shows and NATS and more juggling than I had ever attempted, but the Lord was good. The show went great and I got to relive what I love about the business side of music. NATS was also a reaffirmation as I made it to semi-finals when I thought it was impossible to do so. BAT came together and I was able to watch selflessness at its best. I also learned a lesson about responsibility and learning to grow up. It wasn't fun then and even now, as I still deal with the consequences, but from this, I too shall learn. (P.S. Always, always, ALWAYS call the cops when you are in an accident!! I don't care how bad it doesn't seem. Just do it!!!)

December has been a whirl wind of a month. There have been Singing Christmas Trees, BAT Christmas Parties, engagements, weddings and graduations of people I love and am going to miss severely, but it's such a blessing to be a part of such a special part in person's life. It's also bringing to light more of my sin as family and life in general tends to do, but I know its all part of being on the Potter's wheel.

I look forward to this next year and what the Lord has in store for me! I already know it's going to be a mile stone year with graduation, going out into the real world and deciding what path I should take for the rest of my life but I'm learning more and more everyday how able my Savior is, how much He loves me and how much He wants to bless me with each lesson learned, tear cried or rejoicing. Here's to 2011!!!

Just a Few of My Favorite Christmas Things

HUGE Decorated Christmas Trees

Festive Christmas Decorations

















A Warm Drink


Mittens :)

Half of What You Learn in College is Learned OUTSIDE of the Classroom

So I'm beginning to realize something.......I'm a horrid blogger! I would hate to bore you with the mundane details of my life, but going months and months at a time is just not acceptable! Well, let me see if I can catch you up:

This semester has been anything but the beginning to a calm and relaxed senior year, but that's normal for me :) It HAS been incredible though! I've learned so much over the past 5 months. Everything from how many trash cans you need at an event to asking for things like patience and energy when I lest expected I needed it. I learned I'm an introvert at heart. I learned that I have incredible friends that love me ESPECIALLY when I'm unlovable. I learned how much I love having a roommate and I learned that my Savior is nothing like I ever thought, and for that I'm thankful!!

Being Activities coordinator has been one of the hardest and most rewarding things I've ever done. I think it's taught me more things about myself than anything else I've done this year. At the beginning of planning an event, everything that has to come together is extremely daunting but the feeling of accomplishment and the knowledge that I was part of something that brought the student body together for a brief time is more than enough reward! There's nothing like starting something like that and getting to see it completed! I have a simply amazing team that has stood beside me the entire time and have such a talent for what they do. They do NOT get enough credit for what they do! They have helped me realize so much about myself and the act of serving unselfishly.

BLC has definitely been a highlight to my year. I am so so so thankful to be able to call each and every person on that team friend and know that I can lean on them completely, that they WANT me to lean on them! Being able to trust 8 other people that way is more of a blessing than I could have ever asked for!

The Lord has been so gracious this semester! But this post is already long so I'll save the rest until later :)

The Potter's Wheel

Life is exhausting!

But I'm loving every minute of it!

As is evident by the lack of posts, I'm a busy busy girl :) Between classes, workstudy, Activities, up-coming shows and competitions, practice hours, studying and trying to hang out with friends, the day just doesn't seem long enough. There aren't many of those days that I'd trade though.
I've recently been realizing and reveling in how dependent I am on my Savior. With everything I have on my plate it's easy for me to become overwhelmed, which means I quickly begin to figure out how I can pull myself up by my shoe laces and get my act together as the ship begins sinking. This also rapidly leads me to the realization that the is no possible way that I can even begin to get my life in order the way I want or should even with my stubbornness :) It's forcing me to be in constant communication with the one person who can handle an infinite amount of things at one time, all much bigger than the paper I have due next week. God knows my struggles even before I speak them and he knows how everything is going to turn out. It's been beautiful to be able to lean on my Holy Father and learn more about who He is. The potter's wheel may not always be comfortable or appealing, but I learn more when I'm being poked, prodded, mashed and reshaped.

A Bear of Very Little Brain

I think life is finally beginning to become routine. After 3 weeks of being at school, I think I've finally gotten my head wrapped around this year...a little....maybe.....sorta?......ok, let's just say I'm less stressed and not as intimidated by all that's on my plate and everything I have planned for this year. :)

Welcome Week was more amazing than I could have imagined, I'm loving classes so far and it's so good to have everyone back, including my roommate!! After living alone for three weeks, I was so ready for Cassie to be here and now that she's hear, everything feels like it's falling into place. I think we're both really excited about the year to come!
I think I will leave you with a thought from my favorite philosopher, Winnie the Pooh :)

"Sometimes, the more you think, the more there is no real answer"

Defining Moments

Welcome Week 2009

It's been a crazy couple of days! But this is the time of year that I love the most: Peer Leader Training and Welcome Week!!! For 2 weeks, you are thrown together with 44 other people who are completely different from you in every way possible and 20 seconds after you're introduced to each other there are tasks to be completed, sessions to be learned and new students to meet. It's the fastest way to gain a family that I can think of....and after that 2 weeks that's exactly what they are: FAMILY. I think that's why this is one of my favorite things to be a part in at Belhaven. Not many other groups/events/organizations can bring this many people together that well and that fast. It's been such a joy to watch complete strangers work toward a goal like this and come out fast friends.
This year has been a little different for me because I am a PLA (Peer Leader Assistant). The previous 2 years I've been a PL. I ate it up! I enjoyed everything from filming the video, the task list and getting to spend the week with 15 new freshmen and transfers. Those 15 quickly became my "kids" and I had really good partners both years, the second year I even got to partner with one of my "kids" from the previous year :) But this year I'm on BLC and was an intern all summer in the Office of Student Leadership so it just made sense that I became a PLA. It's a little more intense and involved but I'm eating it up too! It's only the second full day of training and I'm already exhausted but none the less excited! Sunday night and Monday went off with out a hitch, but today we hit a little snag: Our Video guy was a no show. It but a kink in our schedule but the team was so flexible and we were totally able to switch gears and I think we're back on track now. So incredible to witness!!
BLC has been a completely different bird, not in a bad way, but I'm slowly beginning to realize how huge a responsibility this really is. I definitely didn't think is was going to be, but I'm learning the details of how much work this is actually going to be, and I couldn't be more pumped!!
I do have to give a shout out to my Boss and friend Jo Beth Petty. 3 years ago, I was a freshman coming up on the end of the year and no less a wall flower than I had been when I stepped on campus for the first time. That first year of Peer Leading was a turning point in the way I saw myself and my role in college. Between then and now, JB has helped me to grow so much through her leadership and encouragement. I highly doubt that I would be who I am today if she hadn't seen what she did in me that first year of Peer Leading and gave me opportunities to grow my strengths, allowed me to make mistakes and put her trust in me at times when I doubted if I could do it or not. I know for a fact I wouldn't be on BLC or have the confidence in myself to be PLA. She has definitely been a defining person in my life.

Here's to Welcome Week 2010!!