Excellence

A friend and Co-worker handed this out in our meeting yesterday. It's funny the things the Lord uses to get your attention. I felt like the author had gotten inside my head and written down my thoughts, hopes and fears and then put it down on paper. I was suddenly very convicted, humbled and excited all at the same time.....so I thought I'd share :)

Prayer of Excellence

In the world of the ordinary, don't let me become ordinary.

In the world of average, don't let me settle for average.

In the world where there are so many normal people, let me be surrounded with
people who live above the norm.

In the world where everyone wants to stay the same, help me to desire to move on.

When it seems like I am alone in the world, let me embrace your love.

In the world where there are people walking around without vision, let my world have vision without limits.

In the world where some want to go backwards, give me the push to go forward.

And when other want to give up on their call, let me rise above and fulfill my call.

In the world where there is no passion, give me an unusual passion for your presence.

While some are on the potter's wheel and beg to be removed let me beg to stay.

If I look at my past and feel overwhelmed, let me see my future and be overwhelmed at your goodness.

Take me through what I need to go through to get me where I need to go.

~ Christina Hilburn

I love those last three lines. Lord, let me not ask for the easy way out. But let me ask for the BEST way, YOUR way.

"There's a Snake in My Boot!"

I always considered those who go to a movie theater by themselves a little depressing. I mean, you go in alone, sit in the middle of a row somewhere like an island in the middle of an upholstered sea, stare blankly in space until the movie starts because you have no one to pass the time with, as people pity you because they think you've either been stood up or have no friends and a social life. And then, when the movie is over, you leave alone, get in your car, and go home. Just like that.

Pitiful.

But tonight, I braved the loneliness, pitying looks and awkward seating situations to go see Toy Story 3.

Even they look horrified at the thought

I just couldn't help it any longer! Toy Story is the first movie I remember seeing as a child in theaters and I HAD to see the last one in the same way. No if, and or buts about it. The problem was both my siblings had seen it, mom wanted to wait until Dad could go with her and most of my friends had already seen it or where not around. Now can you see what I was up against?? SO I decided to do the unthinkable and go by myself. Turns out, I loved it!!
It was so nice to get away, enjoy the ride to the theater by myself with the music I wanted to listen to, get there when I wanted to and sit where I wanted without anyone else having complaints. I need to say right here that my friends and family are not overly pick about all of this, but it's just nice sometimes to only have to worry about one's self.
I was also able to let myself go emotionally during the movie which probably wouldn't have happened had I been with someone else. I am going to admit right here and now that I cried. Yes, you read right, I cried during Toy Story 3. I'm not ashamed to tell you about it, you watching me cry would have been a different story, but no one was there so it didn't matter....or at least anyone I will be seeing again.

I love my friends, I love going to movies with my friends. Don't worry, I won't make this a habit :) but I may enjoy going by myself more every now and then when I really need to get away and decompress.

More Silliness

Here's another one of my poem/verse/song writings.....again, not anything grand....in fact you may want to stop reading here :)

Invisible Line

I was so sure of what we were

Knew when to stay and when to go

So easy, you made it so easy

When did it turn, what made

The wind change direction,

Where did the seed take root?

You can’t walk an invisible line

How am I supposed to stay in step

When the edge is so fine,

But do I really want to know

What you’re not telling me?

Is ignorance really bliss?

You can’t walk an Invisible line

Now every look produces

A question, every word a

Reason to ask why

When did the easy feeling

Turn to torture? Why

Do I ask why?

Can’t we go back? Will

We move forward?

You can’t walk an invisible line

How am I supposed to stay in step

When the edge is so fine,

But do I really want to know

What you’re not telling me?

Is ignorance really bliss?

You can’t walk an Invisible line

The last thing I want

Is to lose you But

Can I handle not having more?

How can I hold on tight

Without leaving marks

The harder I grip

The further I push

You can’t walk an invisible line

How am I supposed to stay in step

When the edge is so fine,

But do I really want to know

What you’re not telling me?

Is ignorance really bliss?

You can’t walk an Invisible line

I was so sure of what we were

Can’t we go back? Will

We move forward?

True Maroon

I Can NOT wait for the 2010 Football season!!! Here are some videos to get you excited :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNuMFajvKmc&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGsgdmTgm90&feature=related

Enjoy! And GO DAWGS!!

"I gotta fever, and the only prescription is more Cowbell"

Hail State!

"We like Eggs....big golden ones" - Bliss :)

Blessing Upon Blessing

You know those moments were you realize how blessed you really are and feel like you could just burst with it?! The moments you feel everything in the World is right, (or at least in your little world) and nothing can take that away? When you realize what really matters in life and it doesn't matter what you do and don't have because everything just feels right in that one moment?

I'm having one of those moments :)

I get so caught up in what I don't have, how stressed I am or what others think of me that I so easily forget how much the Lord has given me and who He has put in my life!

I have such a loving and supportive family who always loving point me to Christ

Amazing Friends

I love who I work with

An Unbelievable Community of Believers


A house, cloths and plenty of food

And though I might complain about it sometimes, I'm thankful that I get to study my passion and my family fully supports me in that...even though there is a good chance I'll have to live in a box after I graduate to make ends meet haha

Most of All, I'm thankful that our Heavenly Father was merciful and gracious to me and called me to be His own. It's amazing to look back and see from where and to where he's brought me. I'm in awe every time I think about it.

But I do tend to forget WAY too often. I pray more and more that he would remind me and you and that we would grateful, even when life gets hard and we begin to doubt that He has a best interests at heart. It may seem hopeless and impossible sometimes, but those are the moments that cause us to fully depend on Him, like we always should. Those are the times when our.....my relationship with Christ is strengthend and deepened and it becomes a little more like what it should've been before the Fall. Believe it or not, those are some of the moments I look back and cherish the most because that's when I catch a glimpse of what it should be like: Me, completely dependent and Him, all-powerful and in complete control, as usual :)

Who Knew...

So every now and then I get the creative bug and it usually comes out in some sort of writing. I've written several other things like this one. Usually they are in Verse/chorus form seeing as music is my thing. I hope to maybe someday have them put to music, whether by me or someone else I don't know, but we'll see. I might put one or two of these up from time to time, but this is my favorite one so far, the one I'm most proud of. The others just seem a little hokey to me. Anyway, hope you enjoy this little peak into my creative venues :)

Beautiful

When you look at
me what do you see?
Can you look past the
mascara and curls?
If it wasn't there,
Would you still Care
Or recognize me at all?

To Him, am I the most beautiful
creature His father ever made?

Would he run to my rescue
facing death, to secure
My heart and hand

Are you here for forever
or just for the day?
When I walk through
the dark will you
chase it away?
can I put my heart
in your hands?

To Him, am I the most Beautiful
creature His father ever made?
Would he run to my rescue
facing death, to secure
My heart and hand

You are not perfect
I know that full well
You are not meant to be
my salvation, but there

is one who is to me
all you can't be

And to Him I'm the most Beautiful
Creature His Father ever made
He ran to my rescue
faced and Conquered death
to secure my heart and His Plan

So together, we will follow

Trusting in his plan

Knowing he has given

This time for us to share

As an example to us both

What he has in store

Because to Him we are the most Beautiful

Creatures His Father ever made

He ran to our rescue

Faced and conquered death

To secure our hearts and His plan

Trust

Trust....it seems this has been the theme for my life lately. Trust that this is going to happen or trust that this person will come through or trust that this or that will be provided. I started keeping the word "trust" on my phone last year as I was dealing with stuff last year: relationships, timing, assignments, etc. and i have a feeling it's going to stay on my phone for quite a while haha I wanted to share some of the main things I'm trusting in the Lord for this year so that you (if anyone is even reading this) can pray with me if you think about it that the Lord would cultivate a trusting spirit in me, calm my fears and worries and give me HIS peace.

1. School- I know this is kind of cliche but it is something I am having to put in His hands and something that is going to be a constant struggle for me to give up. Between classes, practice hours (music major, remember :), study time, work study and my new position as Student Coordinator of activities, Juggling my time, staying sane and doing well are going to be huge this year! I'm so excited for what's to come! But I also know how quickly I can jump to worrying, stressing and trying to control everything in my little world.
2. Graduation- I've already begun to worry about getting to this point. haha I shouldn't be, but there are a lot of things that will change after wards. Mainly, my friends and I are all going to end up going our separate ways and I'm not ready for it. I enjoy having them just down the hall or across campus. Plus, I know our relationships are going to change. This is all ok and from what I hear, normal, but it doesn't make it any easier when I think about watching them all go.
   
3. After Graduation- I think this is what i am most worried about. I have too many options and yet at the same time none at all right now. Being a music major doesn't lend you to a lot and grad school is almost necessary now. Life is not at all what I thought it would be like now. Honestly, I think I had this image in my head that I would be dating a guy who I would marry soon after graduation. He would have a good job lined up, we'd get married, start our life and never look back. Oh what damage our little girl fantasies can do! :)

I was at Summer RUF last night and Chad was our speaker. We've been going through Philippians all summer and talking about Heavenly Joy. Chad's sermon hit me hard. His basic point was that as Christians, we are to always be pressing forward toward the Lord's return with Hope because of the prize that awaits us. He told us that we must forget the past and look forward to the prize, trade in the world's glory for Heaven's and hope for something better than the world. As he was talking I realized how self absorbed I am, with all of MY worried and MY wants and MY needs and how much I've pushed my Heavenly father aside and our relationship for other relationships that I think are going to fulfill me. I worry so much about work, school, and what other people think about me that I forget that I have a heavenly father that KNOWS me better than I know myself and still loves me and wants me in Heaven with Him someday! That's insane!
All that to say, There is no need to worry about the future because I have a God who is all-powerful, perfect and LOVES ME!!

A Praying Life

This is going to be a short one because, despite the fact that I've not done a whole lot today, I'm exhausted. How does that happen?
Anyway, I did want to tell you about this book that I am reading this summer: A Praying Life by Paul Miller. Go get it and read it! It has been such a blessing to me during this time of my life even though I wish I had read it earlier. It is a very honest but insightful book on prayer and constant communion with God. The subject matter is amazing but it's not a hard read. The chapters are short and he writes in plan English :) (it bugs me sometimes when I can't understand a book because it seems that the author was determined to use the biggest words in the English language. Maybe it shouldn't, but it does)
Not much else to tell at this point other than life is steadily moving forward and summer is quickly drawing to a close. I am excited about all this next year has to hold, but I also don't think I'm ready to get back to the studying and practicing and planing. But that's a post for another time. Right now it's time for me to get off, turn off the light and drift off into dream land. After all, there is money to earn in the morning :) Goodnight!

Another American Saturday Night

Time is funny. Sometimes it seems like it virtually stand still. Other times feels like it moves faster than you ever thought possible. Lately, is seems time is going by faster than I have time to process what's going on. I watched yesterday as a childhood friend of mine walked down the aisle, exchanged vows and was pronounced married. I'm so happy for her and her new hubby! She was radiant and the wedding was sweet. I just couldn't stop remembering all the times we had sat on our bedroom floors, talking about that special someone from the future. What he would be like, how many kids we'd have and all there names, what kind of job he would have and the color of the flowers at our wedding. Haha It seems just yesterday that our 11 year old selves were planning. :) And here we are and it just actually happened. It's all so surreal. So is the fact that this is my last year of college.I think most of us, if you're anything like me, dream about life will be like when we're all grown up and living on our own. I don't know about me but life looks nothing like what I thought it would at this point. I'm definitely one of those people that like to be in control and know the details, but the Lord is teaching me a lesson that my stubborn self tends to fight: Releasing control and trusting in him completely. Because my plan for my life is not exactly where I wish it was, I'm having to trust that He has it all under control and the other wonderful things and people that are coming into my life are for my good. The funny thing is, I fight it, I get angry and frustrated, but it always turns out for my good and looking back I can see how He's direction for my life is better than my own. How quickly I forget.

Way back when! I'm in the blue dress up front with the huge bow :)

Senior Year of High School. Top of the Empire State Building with the Bestie


Excited about Graduation!

I love music! If you keep up with this for very long (and I continue to write :) you will quickly find out how much of my life revolves around it. Music has been my happy place for as long as I remember and now I'm studying and getting a degree in it. I love music. But I especially love NEW music, or at least new to me music. Like most girls, there are certain things I don't mind spending lots of money on: Cloths, Shoes, Jewelery, Coffee Cups and MUSIC. Yesterday I bought 3 new CDs with some babysitting money and LOVE them! The Script, The Fray and Brad Paisley's new album American Saturday Night all get 5 stars from me!

Love his Music!

I used to go to the movies all the time, but after going to college it doesn't happen very often. I've become kind of picky about what movies I go see and spend money on now and so when my brother, sister and a couple friends and i went to see Despicable Me last night, I was a little skeptical. Confession time: I love sappy movies and action films, but have a hard time with over the top goofy movies. Don't get me wrong, I love a good one liner and can laugh at a stupid joke with the best of them, but too much means I zone out. Well I thought this movie was going to be over the top, but I went anyway trying to go in with an open mind. Well.......I really liked it!! It was funny in all the right places and had enough sap to satisfy even me. Plus, how can you not fall for those little minions! Adorable!!

These guys totally stole the show :)

Resolutions

I'm not really sure why I felt the need to create one of these. Was it because it seems everyone else has? Do i feel such a need to be known that I'm willing to throw out these ramblings into the void we call the internet hoping SOMEONE sees it and understands and wants to read more? Or could it be it just amuses me? Honestly it could be all but none of those things. The one thing I do know is that when ever I start doing something like this (Journaling, start a project, make a New Years resolution) it tends to get forgotten or put the side in about a month and I move on to something else. So here's to me actually sticking to something! :)